Better a Witty Fool than a Foolish Wit

Inner Workings of My Twisted Mind.

Bad Breakups

When you have a bad breakup it feels like the world is ending.  And
the moments leading up to it are some of the worst.  The Denial:
We’ll be fine.  It will get better.  We just need time.  The
Negotiation:  Maybe we’re just moving past the honeymoon phase.  I
miss the constant euphoria, but it had to end sometime.  And the
Acceptance:  I just can’t do this anymore.  We’ve both changed.  It’s
not you, it’s me (read: actually, it’s totally you).

Yes, we’ve all been through it.  The different feelings, the wanting
to die, the not eating and not sleeping.  When it stops working with
someone we love, intense, intense pain occurs.  Pain that is all
consuming.  Pain that clouds our every action and every thought for a
certain period of time.

No.  I did not just go through a bad break-up.  But, in fact, there
are certain break-ups that we don’t talk about.  We’re embarrassed to
admit that we feel similar (if exponentially less intense) feelings
when other things we love stop working for us.

I’m talking, in particular, about T.V. gone bad.  You all know this
feeling:  your favorite television show, the one that is so brilliant,
completely falls apart.  You keep watching because you feel some sort
of obligation to your friends at West Beverly High or Central Perk.
You feel obliged because you’ve spent so much time with them.  You’ve
had great moments together.  Pregnancy scares, drug addiction, smelly
cats, weddings, losing your virginity.  But even after all those great
and sometimes emotional moments.  Even after your weekly trysts that
you’ve looked forward to for years.  Something is missing.  And you go
through the steps.  The Denial:  It will get better.  They can’t all
be great.  It happens to everyone.   The Negotiation:  Well, it’s not
as good, but it’s still better than most t.v. shows.  Maybe I’ve just
gotten so used to how great it is, that it doesn’t seem as great.  And
the acceptance:  What am I going to do on Thursday nights?  I miss
Brenda.  I just can’t do this anymore, it’s too painful.

When you finally hear it’s going to be ending, you always tune in for
the last episode.  I’ll admit it, I cried in the last episode of 90210
even though I hadn’t watched the show in years and didn’t know who
half the cast was.  But usually, you realize that the breakup was a
good decision.  I’ve moved on.  My thursdays are filled with something
new and different:  Interns at Seattle Grace Hospital.

It’s like when you see your ex at the grocery store or the coffee
shop.  You inevitably look like total shit.  You’re not with the new
guy your dating (of course) because why would things go right like
that?  You have the awkward how’s it going conversation.  And you
inevitably realize that you are way happier now that you’re dating
your own personal McDreamy.  You walk away from that last conversation
(hopefully the last one ever) feeling like you made the right
decision.  And yes, the decision was hard at the time.  Maybe the most
difficult decision you ever had to make, but now…Now, you realize
that it was the right one.

Now you realize that your thursday nights are better spent with the
real McDreamy than by Ross proclaiming yet again that they were on a
break.  Now you realize that maybe thursdays are better spent in
Seattle than in The O.C.  Then, it was painful.  You felt betrayed.
You felt like you were betraying Dylan McKay…and who wants to betray
Dylan?  He was so dark and brooding and sexy.

But really, you couldn’t do it anymore.  And it had to end.  And maybe
it ended bad…in gunshots and amnesia.   But now that it’s over and
you’ve had closure, it was the right decision.

It’s okay people.  I know your pain.  Sometimes it doesn’t work out.
And you know what…it’s a painful prolonged decision to stop watching
something that’s so much a part of your weekly life.  But sometimes it
has to be done.  And eventually, the void will fill, you’ll move on.
It’s okay to grieve…to go through the phases…to have a bit of
closure.  It’s okay.

Peace, love, and the good kind of closure,

Julia

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June 14, 2007 - Posted by | Hollywood, Television

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