Better a Witty Fool than a Foolish Wit

Inner Workings of My Twisted Mind.

Feels Like the First Time

So this one’s going to be a little short, but I had an entirely new
experience yesterday and thought I’d share it with you, my captive

The consensus on celebrities seems to be that they get paid entirely
too much to do entirely too little.  Now, I’ve briefly mentioned my
stance on actors and how much respect I have for them.  They are put
through hell on a daily basis, asked to work upwards of 14-19 hours a
day, and they have to perform (well) on a moments notice (sometimes
without much time for preparation).  And on top of that they are often
berated for how much money they make.  Now, do I think it’s a little
ridiculous that Reese Witherspoon makes 30+ million dollars a movie,
yes.  But after my experience yesterday, I’m starting to think that
she doesn’t get paid enough.

Now, I’m not sure how many of you are aware of this, but I work at a
bookstore in West Hollywood on the weekends.  It’s a great bookstore,
it’s not Borders, and it’s in West Hollywood (for you non-Angelenos:
West Hollywood is where the rich, famous, and gay people live.  It’s a
little like Castro St. on steroids meets an upscale Sausalito in the
middle of a gigantic urban metropolis).

Needless to say, many many many celebrities come in and shop at Book
Soup and for the most part I couldn’t care less (though my friends
often make fun of the fact that I get more excited by the cheerleader
friend from Legally Blonde than by seeing Meg Ryan).  In any case, we
deal with celebrities alot, but yesterday was my first experience with
an elusive creature (or not so elusive as the case may be) called the

So I’m sitting behind the counter, reading the new Ron Jeremy
autobiography (more on that after I meet him on thursday) and I see
flashbulbs flaring.  So I turn to look out the window and see Sharon
Osbourne.  Now, this doesn’t really excite me all that much.  She
comes in all the time and drops upwards of $6000, then leaves.  So I
just get myself prepared for what will most likely be a rather big

What really gets me though is the fact that there are three
photogaphers outside snapping pictures of Sharon as she looks at a
magazine rack.  Now I pose this question to everyone who buys US
Weekly:  Do you really want to see pictures of Sharon Osbourne picking
out magazines?  Who really gives a shit about that?

Anyway, she comes into the store and shops for a bit.  She’s probably
one of the nicest people (not just celebrities) that I’ve ever met.
She’s got her dog with her, she’s incredibly polite and she’s just
browsing for books.  Crowds form outside and then dissappate, like the
ebb and flow of the tide.

Inside some people approach her to chat about god knows what before
continuing on their merry way.

Then comes the moment of truth.  As my colleague finishes ringing her
up, I start grabbing the boxes of books to help her to her car.
Sharon grabs her two bags of magazines and I follow her to her Bentley
(it’s a thing of beauty).

As we step outside the photographers start snapping photos and asking
questions (maybe you should all check out people and US Weekly this
week cause I might be in it).  I put Sharon’s books in the back seat
(which I really want to roll around it because it’s just so nice),
thank her for her business, and leave her to drive back to her
Hollywood Hills mansion.

As I walk back inside, I find myself pondering what it would be like
to constantly be followed by photographers.  How would you like it if,
while you were at a newsstand, looking at magazines, multiple people
were snapping photos of you and asking questions about your life?  How
would you like it if complete strangers came up to you, thinking that
they know you, and started chatting like you were old friends?  I hate
it when people that I don’t know talk to me in public at all.  I don’t
want to chat on the bus, on the subway, or while I’m shopping.  The
whole reason to live in a big city is to be surrounded by people, but
alone at the same time.  That’s what I loved about London and it’s
what I love about L.A.  We can all be around each other without that
small town ‘let’s chat even though we’ve never met crap.’   If I
wanted that I’d move to Kansas thank you very much.

I mentioned my concerns about how much it would suck to be followed
all the time to my co-worker who said that Madonna had been
interviewed a few month ago and the interviewer had asked when the
last time she was totally alone.  Madonna paused for a tension filled
minute and said 1986.  That’s 20 years without being totally alone.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I will never again complain about how
much money celebrities make because no amount of money is worth 20
years without a moment alone.

So it wasn’t as short as I anticipated but without further ado.

Peace, Love, and 100 Years of Solitude,



June 14, 2007 - Posted by | Hollywood, Los Angeles

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