Better a Witty Fool than a Foolish Wit

Inner Workings of My Twisted Mind.

You Know You’re Working in Hollywood When…

You know you’re really working in Hollywood when you work a 15 hour
day (a normal occurence for me these days).  Of course this 15 hour
day consists of getting paid to watch a screening of the new
live-action Charlotte’s Web film, which won’t be out until Christmas,
and is fantastic, with 150 third graders.  Followed by getting paid to
watch Barry Manilow perform on Entertainment Tonight (as in, watch
this amazing bit of fabulousness as it’s being filmed to be on the
show).  And the last 6 hours or so of your fifteen hour day is spent
getting paid to screen/watch the new Brad Pitt movie twice.  Actually,
I only watched it once seeing as it’s minorly dissapointing, and
majorly heavy.

Ahh, the glamour of the Hollywood lifestyle.  It’s really tough.

Of course then there are those other fifteen hour days that start at 7
am with the delight that is the Dr. Phil show, where for 6 hours I get
to deal with middle-aged, white trash, women who think that this man,
who I’m convinced has a mail-in Ph.D. is the messiah.  Six hours of
listening to people who worship a 6′ tall texan with a molestor
moustache asking me to tell them all about how great he is in real
life.  Newsflash people, that man is an asshole.  Then comes the icing
on the cake, the true adrenaline pumping moments when a group of old
ladies gets it in their head that they, for some unknown reason, will
not be able to witness or experience first hand the miraculous series
of events that are sure to take place on Stage 29.  These old ladies,
who, through some old lady telepathy, all at once come to the
conclusion that they will not witness the sacred event and bum rush
the poor, tired page, who has not been fed, but has had about 8
million tiny cups of gross coffee (the only reason she is still
standing).  As she calms these skittish creatures, said Page finally
sends the audience off to sit in the audience section on the stage.
Here’s where the real fun begins folks, that’s right, Dr. Phil comes
out to the sounds of Cher, Shania Twain, or Garth Brooks, depending on
the, certain to be enthralling, subject of today’s shows.  And the
show begins.  An hour and a half of torture, where this Page pulls her
book out and tries desperately to drown out the good ‘Dr.’ as he gives
quite possibly the worst advice ever to his Jerry Springer-like
guests.

After six hours of this, I then get to go do something fun.  I get to
meet my heroes, the writers.  Yesterday it was Michael Chabon (who
wrote The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, which, if you
haven’t read, you should go out this instant, buy it and start
reading).  These events are the best because this is where I get paid
to Eat, drink Jack Daniels and get my favorite books signed.

GOTTA LOVE THE HOLLYWOOD LIFESTYLE

I love you all,

Julia

P.S. If you are a Dr. Phil fan, I’m sorry if I insulted you, but
truthfully, HE SUCKS ASS!!!!

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June 14, 2007 - Posted by | Hollywood, Los Angeles, Movies, Television, Work

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